As part of the innate nature of humanity, Islam has never suppress sexual desire. Islam offers a comprehensive guide for sex can still be enjoyed a Muslim without having to lose the rhythm of worship.
Month of Shawwal, for Indonesian Muslims, could be regarded as the breeding season. This assumption is certainly not without reason. Among students and muhibbin usually chose the moon as a time to hold aqad marriage.
The habit could not be separated from the advice of the scholars who come from the expression Sayyidatina Aisha bint Abu Bakr that the Prophet married the king in Syawwal. He commented,
"Surely in the months Syawwal wedding was full of blessing and contains much good."
However, to achieve true happiness in the household of course not enough to get married in the month Syawwal. There are many things that need to be carefully studied and diamalkan by married couples to achieve peace (sakinah), love (mawaddah) and compassion (mercy), both physically and spiritually. One of them-and most important-is a matter of intimate relationships or in the language of jurisprudence called Jima '.
As one objective the implementation of marriage, intimate relationships, according to Islam, including one of religious worship that is highly recommended and contains a very large reward value. Because Jima 'in the bond of marriage is a lawful way provided by God to wreak biological human desires and connect descendants of the sons of Adam.
Also Jima 'which is also kosher iabadah a great rewarding. Rasulullah SAW said, "In the dick that is charity." Companion then asked, "O Messenger of Allah, whether we get rewarded with intercourse with our wives?." Prophet replied, "Is not if you distribute illicit lust on the road will be sinful? And vice versa, if channeled in a halal way, you will be rewarding. "(Narrated by Bukhari, Abu Dawood and Ibn Khuzaimah)
Because the noble aims and it is worth worship each sex in the household should be aimed at and performed the Islamic way, which is in accordance with the guidance of the Quran and the sunna Prophet Muhammad.
Intimate relationships, according to Ibn Qayyim al-Jawzi in Ath-Thibbun Nabawi (Prophet's Medicine style), in accordance with the instructions Messenger has three objectives: to maintain continuity of lineage and the human race, issued a fluid that when languishing in the body would be dangerous, and took pleasure God bestowed.
Salaf Ulema teach, "Someone should keep three things in themselves: Do not let not walk away, so if one day have to do it is not difficult; Do not let not eat, for the gut is not narrowed, and not to leave the sex, because of water wells only when not in use will dry himself.
His face was grim
Muhammad ibn Zakariya adds, "Anyone who does not have intercourse for a long time, will weaken the power of his body organs, nerves will be strained and clogged blood vessels. I also see people who deliberately do not do Jima 'with the intention of celibacy, his body became cold and his face grim. "
Meanwhile, among the benefits of intercourse in marriage, according to Ibn Qayyim, is subdued and eyes and heart and holiness of the act unlawful. Jima 'is also beneficial to the psychological health of the perpetrators, through matchless enjoyment it produces.
The peak of pleasure is called orgasm or intercourse faragh. Although not all sexual relationships must culminate faragh, but efforts to achieve optimal fair faragh obligatory. The definition of fair is faragj orgasm can be felt by both parties, ie, husband and wife.
Why mandatory? Because faragh together is one important element in achieving the purpose of marriage that is sakinah, mawaddah and mercy. Dissatisfaction with one party in Jima ', if allowed to drag on, it is feared will bring greater madharat, namely fornication. Thus, in accordance with basic principles of Islam, wa la la dharara dhirar (not dangerous and harmful), any attempt to prevent the things that endanger the legitimate marriage is also obligatory.
However, the satisfaction that must be pursued in Jima 'is a satisfaction that is located within the limits of human reasonableness, custom and religion. Not justified to use the pretext of reaching satisfaction to perform deviant sexual practices, such-and-so (liwath) which has been medically proven to be dangerous. Or use of force in sexual activity (mashokisme), both physically and mentally, the latter often happens.
Thus, in accordance with the rules of usul fiqh "ma la illa yatimmul wajibu bihi fahuwa wajibun" (something that became mandatory requirement for perfection case, is also obligatory), recognize and learn the elements that can deliver Jima 'to faragh also obligatory.
For men, the achievement of faragh very clear sign that when Jima 'has reached phase out ejaculation or semen. But is not the case with the weaker sex ', mostly of type "late summer", or-even-not easy to heat. To that required a variety of strategies to hasten.
And, one of the most important element of the strategy is achieving faragh preliminary or heating in a foreign language is called foreplay (isti'adah). Heating fairly and accurately, according to sexology experts, will speed women reach faragh.
Since it is considered very important, warm up before berjima 'also commanded the Prophet Muhammad. He said,
"Let not any one of you intercourse with his wife like an animal. He shall first give an introduction, namely kisses and sweet talk cooed. "(Narrated by At-Tirmidhi).
Kissing in the above hadith of course in the true meaning. In fact, Prophet Muhammad, narrated in Sunan Abu Dawud, kissing lips and sucking her tongue Aisha. Two of these hadith as well put your kiss between husband and wife as a kesunahan before berjima '.
When Jabir to marry a widow, the Prophet asked him, "Why did you not marry a girl so you can jolly jokes? ... That can bite each other's lips with you. "HR. Bukhari (number 5079) and Muslim (II: 1087).
Therefore, couples should be very concerned about all elements of the perfect kiss phase. Either by mastering techniques and tricks good kissing, as well as hygiene and health of body organs that will be used kissing. Because it can be, rather than raise the temperature Jima ', bad breath is not fresh, it will reduce the spirit and desire a partner.
While seduction mentioned above are all words that can attract a partner, increase intimacy and stimulate passion berjima '. In terms of jurisprudence sentences that stimulate seduction called rafats, which of course forbidden spoken to other than his wife.
In addition to kissing and seduction, another important element in the heating is a touch of tenderness. For married couples, all parts of the body is permitted to touch objects, including the genitals. Especially if it is meant as encouragement Jima '. Similarly, Ibn Taymiyya's opinion.
Nashirudin Shaykh Al-Albani, quoting words of Ibn al-Hanbali Urwah in his book is still shaped manuscript, Al-Kawakbu Ad-Durari,
"Allowed for husband and wife to see and feel all their partner's curves, including the genitals. Because the genitalia are body parts that may be enjoyed in making out, of course may also be seen and touched. Taken from the view of Imam Malik and other scholars. "
Thanks to the greatness of God, every part of the human body have different sensitivities and a sense that when touched or looked at. So, to increase the quality Jima ', husband and wife allowed to also take off all her clothes. From Aisha RA, he was told, "I never take a bath with one vessel preformance Messenger ..." (Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim).
To obtain optimal results touch, husband and wife should know very well the points are easy to excite their partners. It needs an open and relaxed communication between husband and wife, to find those points, for maximum effect when berjima '.
Permissible for husband and wife who were berjima 'to sigh. Because sigh is part of the increase arousal. Imam As-Suyuti narrates, there is a qadhi that intercourse with his wife. Suddenly his wife swerved and sighed. The qadhi was rebuked. But when next day the qadhi came to his wife he would say, "Do as yesterday."
One more thing that adds pleasure in the intimate relationship of husband and wife, namely the position of intercourse. Incidentally Islam itself provides the broadest freedoms to the adherents to try different variations of the position in sex. The only provision is subject to Shari'a, all sex positions that remain to be done in one way, which fanny. Not the other.
"Your wives are a farming tanammu, Go to it from any direction that you want." QS. Al-Baqarah (2:223).
Position Ijba '
According to commentators, this verse was revealed in connection with the incident in Medina. Once when some women of Medina who was married to the muhajirin complained to the Prophet Muhammad, because their husbands want to have sex in a position ijba 'or tajbiyah.
Ijba is a sex position where he came from behind female vulva. At issue, the women of Madinah had ever heard of Jewish women say, anyone who berjima 'in a way ijba' then his future will be wall-eyed. Then came a verse.
In connection with verse 233 Surah Al-Baqarah was Imam Nawawi explains, "The verse shows the permissibility of female copulate from the front or rear, by the way override or bertelungkup. The rectum is not allowed to copulate through, because it's not the location of cultivation. "Farm in question is bred.
Muhammad Syamsul Haqqil Azhim Abadi in 'Aunul Ma'bud added, "The word field (hartsun) referred to in the Qur'an shows, women may be clocked by any means: lying, standing or seated, and facing or back .."
Thus, Islam, as religion rahmatan lil 'alamin, again proved to have teachings that are very complete and thorough in guiding his people sailed the oceans of life. All sides and the potential life completely peeled and given detailed guidance, so his people could stay while undergoing bersyariat nature of humanity.
(Kang Iftah. Source: Purple Silk, Intimate Related Guide In the Islamic perspective, the work of Abu Omar Ba'asyir)